Reasons Why I Should Change my Name to Grandma Moses:

• I knit obsessively
• I'm really stubborn, so I never wear my contacts and yell because everything is blurry
• I complain all the time
• Whenever a friend comes to me with a boy problem, I yell at them and say " WHY ARE YOU SCHMUCKING AROUND WITH THAT STEPHEN BOY, YOU SHOULD BE CONCENTRATING ON SCHOOL! OY VEY, YOU'RE ONLY 17 AND YA GOT BOY PROBLEMS! WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE I WAS ALREADY MARRIED WITH 3 CHILDREN, BE THANKFUL YOU LIVE EASY LIFE AND HAVE HEALTHY UTERUS, UNLIKE GRANDMOTHER."
• I prefer to have my food served to me lukewarm and mushy, preferably no flavor.
• I will yell and blame things like paper cuts on the people nearest me, then state their inadequacies.